A Testimony

A millennial finds purpose through reflection, inquiry, and myths.

**El sueño de Jacob**
**Jusepe de Ribera** 1591–1652
oil on canvas — 1639

Modernity has made us scientistic, and with good reason; once we discovered the scientific method and were able to probe the material world for objective facts, we have been able to learn to use it to improve our quality of life to heights never seen in history. This and several other factors have created a culture where when we hear the words God, Jesus and Christianity we reflectively reject them as superstitions, and outdated or irrelevant in today's modern age. We say to ourselves that "Modern man understands his nature and history better than ever, and so there is no need for the myths or insights of our ancestors." "We evolved from nothing, and life is objectively pointless" we expound. Some will say that this is quite negative but "Not at all, I am a positive nihilist!" we may hear retorted. And yet despite the self-assurances we feel lost, we experience a general malaise, and we self-medicate; we see that our lives are not as they should be, even despite the fact that it has never been easier to satisfy any desire or need we may have. This is because there are other aspects of our mind that are not satisfied by a mere materialistic and scientistic understanding of existence. We know for instance, and openly admit, that science can never reach an "ought" conclusion as it can only derive what "is". Science tells us how the world is, not how it ought to be. The ability to present objective facts without subjective meaning is the miracle of science, but the very way we experience the world is entirely subjective. So, whether we claim to be science minded or faith minded, we all see the world as a succession of decisions of what we “ought” to do to fulfill our particular goals, and furthermore, what are the best goals we "ought" aim to fulfill. Thus, a purely materialistic world view where there is no room for subjective meaning, is by its very nature insufficient for us to live fulfilled lives. knowing this, we cannot expect to build a working holistic philosophy without first relying on the help of complex metaphysical memes that have had thousands of years of history, billions of participants, and trillions of man hours of development. When I reflect upon my own journey, there are three revelations that stand out as instrumental to the developments that led me through Atheism and to Christianity.

The realization that decisions have lasting consequences first set me on a journey to search for how I could gain the wisdom to discern which actions would provide the best lasting consequences for myself. The choices we make, whether good or bad, leave lasting impressions on our reality. For instance, the people we interact with daily remember how trustworthy, reliable, timely, honest, selfless and hardworking we are which leads to more or less opportunities for good outcomes. This truth has layers upon layers of application beyond just the social realm. As a general rule, every decision we make increases or decreases our opportunities, so it behooves us to learn to discern right decisions from wrong ones as soon as possible. We can see that not all decisions are easily chosen between, they aren't all black and white, but how can we gain the insight to see what consequences unfold between two seemingly equal choices? There must be some way to more consistently increase my opportunities for happiness, not only for the present me, but the future me as well, and not only for myself, but for those around me, and not only for me, but for my children and their children. A query on Googling on how to gain wisdom leads us to vague observations like:

"Wisdom can be acquired only through experience, but by itself, experience does not automatically confer wisdom.
From < https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/basics/wisdom> "

This being the case, that wisdom is only gained from experience, how can we see what a life of bad decisions looks like without experiencing the consequences? We most certainly must rely on observations, accounts, advice, and instruction from others, but which of these practically infinite sources should we look to for this wisdom? We only have one life, and a very finite time to learn this skill before our life is impacted permanently, and any gained wisdom would have a diminishing return. This makes the acquisition even more pressing.

Korah, Dathan and Abiram punished
Jan Luyken 1649 - 1712
Steel Etching Print — 1708

The Night before the Exam
Leonid Osipovic Pasternak 1862 - 1945
Oil on Canvas — 1895

Het huis gebouwd op zand
Hendrick Goltzius 1558-1617
Print on Paper - 1604

With the mounting anxiety of needing to find a source of wisdom to learn from, I looked to the cultures around me. Every civilization, no matter what size has some story that gives explanation to the world around it. As humans develop ever more complex narratives describing the world, the characters within the drama begin to repeat archetypical patterns and these patterns provide us with a mirror that reflect our conditions with ever more clarity. These stories, once integrated, assist their listeners to navigate life and the myriad of decisions that need to be made to arrive at desirable outcomes. For Example, the Iliad, one of the oldest texts of Western Literature, reveals to us the traits of Valor, Honor, Responsibility, Sacrifice, Loyalty, and Courage, among many others. So as the society begins integrating their narrative more completely, the constituents begin to embody the values demonstrated in the story and overtime manifest norms which create more and more of a stable foundation for the society to grow. Just as we see evolution in biology, so too we see these memes evolve and develop at different rates in different civilizations, the more evolved and accurate the abstractions the more successfully they can create these values in the self, and the community. Furthermore, the more accurately these stories can communicate these critical attributes to the culture the faster they reproduce in the minds of men. Most critically for western civilization though, were the ideas of a supreme good God apart from creation, of the ideal man and of faith in a better tomorrow, which were all developed in the communal psyche of the West by its repository of unique stories. This truth is so glaring that even some of the most modern scientistic minds see it but are blind to its significance. Here is an excerpt from a very popular “brief history of humankind”:

"The Chinese and Persians did not lack technological inventions such as steam engines (which could be freely copied or bought.) They lacked the values, myths, judicial apparatus and sociopolitical structures that took centuries to form and mature in the West and which could not be copied and internalized rapidly. France and the United States quickly followed in Britain’s footsteps because the French and Americans already shared the most important British myths and social structures. The Chinese and Persians could not catch up as quickly because they thought and organized their societies differently."
- Sapiens by Yuval Noah Harari P. 282

The operative word in this excerpt is "myths." Myths are precedent to the other key aspects listed as cause for the explosive success of western civilization (Values, Judicial Apparatus and Sociopolitical Structures). The myths are therefore critical to the civilization built upon them. If we are proud children of the West but, as scientistic individuals reject the mythology of our culture out of hand, then we live an obvious contradiction. This sets us up to undermine our own culture as we do not believe in the myths that form the logic behind our current values and subsequently, we refuse to pass them on to the next generation. We perhaps may not suffer too severely because our subconscious is still attuned to the religious myths that are diffused in the populous, but surely the erosion of these fundamental myths, and the scaffolding of values built upon them, will result in a degeneration of our society. This is what it means for something to be foundational, it cannot be compromised without compromising the superstructure it supports, it is the same for buildings as it is for ideas. This was the second realization that drove me to embrace the myths of my culture; if I am to strengthen myself, my family, and society at large, I must have a firm understanding of the stories that undergird all Western Civilization. Where to begin though? Luckily for us, our ancestors could not have been clearer about what stories they felt were essential to our success. The subject of God has been so thoroughly fleshed out in the West by Christendom by all of the statements and nuances of architecture, literature, and art, that our forefathers have left us an incredibly clear road map as to what is fundamental to our successful march into the future.

Now that we can see that stories are vital to our civilization in some real way we can begin to respect them enough to start the task of understanding them, but which stories to wrestle with first? Any penetrating look at our Great American Experiment reveals that the inspiring story of the Christian Gospel has been at the forefront of our trailblazing forebearers' minds. Moreover with over 5 billion bibles printed, and their proliferation throughout our culture, it is undeniable that this country could not have built such a monumental edifice to life, liberty, and justice for all without the firm foundations provided by our Bible. The Bible is a repository of stories that were created by different authors across history and they record the development of a civilization's understanding of God. For many centuries these stories were everything, the earliest books quite literally made up the constitution of a nation. It is important though for us, living in the 21st century, to understand what these books are, but also, what they are not. These books of the Bible were written millennia ago, long before science was invented, and their chief purpose was to communicate the Logos or essence of creation. They were not designed as textbooks, detailing the scientific and mathematical laws of nature. They were designed as guides for man, and they still describe man's divided nature and predict accurately the fruit of our actions and thoughts. The Bibles archetypical protagonists and antagonists provide endless insights into how we should react to issues and what should motivate us. Admittedly though, these stories are not as accessible as they once were since we are no longer steeped in the environment, culture, or history of their time. Luckily for us today, there is an inexhaustible wealth of commentary to help us mediate between these ancient writers and our modern context.

Jacob Wrestling with the Angel
Alexander Louis Leloir 1843-1884
oil on canvas - 1865

Scenes from the Passion of Christ: The Agony in the Garden, the Crucifixion, and the Descent into Limbo triptych
Andrea Vanni 1313-1414
tempura on panel - 1380s

At last the final realization that convinced me to walk the rest of my life as a Christian came while reading the story of Jesus Christ's death, the climax of the entire Bible. The crucifixion of Jesus Christ is the most profound statement of ethics that humanity has ever conceived. Why is this the case though? The image of the Son of God murdered on a cross is truly a macabre scene and it is a tragedy at the limit of all tragedies; a man at the peak of his life, betrayed by a dear friend, falsely accused by those in power, put on trial, found innocent by the law yet guilty by public opinion, tortured, ridiculed, forced to carry the object that would kill him, humiliated every step up a mount, nailed to a cross, and hung until death in front of all. So how can St. Paul say in his letter to the Corinthians “… I decided to know nothing among you except Jesus Christ and him crucified.” Why is it that Jesus says of himself “I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me”. These are difficult statements that require any reasonable person to hesitate to believe, but yet we are called not only to believe it but it is the very rock that our faith is to be built upon. Being the central pillar of the Western ethic, this narrative scene demands a very long hard look. Jesus even tells us ”If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross and follow me. For whoever would save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for my sake will find it.” What do his sayings mean? Why is it that Christ’s agonized decision to willingly submit to the will of His Father so profound. Moreover why is it God's will for His Son to suffer so at the hand of his creation? Satisfying answers to these questions are hidden to the skeptic atop a high mountain which can only be scaled through a humble praxis of pursuit. In fact, nearly all of life's gifts lay hidden atop mountains of disciplined action, and the gifts cannot be seen from ground level. This is the essence of Jesus' statement that you have only to "…Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you", that we have only but act in accordance with our desires. So with this instruction in my mind, standing in the marsh of ignorance, looking out across the plains of philosophy to the great mountain range of the world's religions, I resolved to begin the lifelong pursuit to scale the grandest summit. Christianity is that mountain that towers above all others and the development of mankind pivots about its peak, Christ. Perhaps in this way, we are all called to live Christs last moments because his last moments are a pattern that can be overlayed on our lives; we are compelled to live, not of our own volition, but God's. We are thrown into life whether we want it or not, and if we are to live well Jesus tells us we are to pick up our cross and drag it to the top of a summit. We are to withstand the malevolence, the persecutions, the trials, the buffets of life, and continue unabated with a persistent loving humility to fulfill the will of our Creator. If we try to avoid the arduous journey required of us in an attempt to preserve our life we will never experience the true nature of life, but if we pick up our burden and take it to the peak of our life we may die, but there is the hope that our efforts will live on forever into the future to be enjoyed by us and humanity at the end of the age when God's Kingdom is manifest on earth. There are hundreds of profound insights like this that the story of Christ's last journey to Calvary can provide, and this is but one short narrative scene in a Bible filled with similarly insightful scenes. Once I began to read these stories with the intent of understanding them to know God more fully, I quickly became aware that there was so much more to Christianity than the superficial critiques of atheist contemporaries. I am now heartily committed to getting as near to the pinnacle of this summit as I can and my life has never been more full. I pray that you will consider taking up your cross and living your adventure to the top of the mountain. I by no means have gotten near but what I have gotten is a joy that is suprarational, and I so very much desire you to enjoy it too.